I was not expecting to win this in my first year, let alone my first 4 months.
I am humbled, grateful, astonished and honoured that someone who wrote about getting fired a little over a week ago is in a position to be able to grotesquely show-off about themselves!
Feels a little clichéd…
This award is voted for hotel supervisors and what makes it even more remarkable is that none of my direct team can vote for me.
It’s a real pleasure to call them all colleagues and even though the commute can be tough and it will not always be awards and smiles; I love going to work at County Hall.
This week’s blog was going to be about the “Best Meal of My Life’ – you’ll have to wait on that one because let’s talk about emotions and more specifically, let’s talk about this man’s emotions (and it will focus on my emotions because wild generalisations about men will help no one…)
Full honesty about the crying, it felt great!
It was cathartic and it was a release that I needed! I feel no shame and I am completely happy with the reasoning for it – sometimes a good cry just fixes everything.
CRY No. 1 – After having my photo taken I went and cried in the emergency staircase because I was overwhelmed with the kind words that were written on my plaque. (See picture above)
CRY No. 2 – This award reminded me of how much I wanted to talk to my dad about my new job and the journey my life so far.
So as with any good Tarantino Movie, we start at the end with CRY No. 2!
I am a big mushy pile of complexity – I am totally cool with that and for the most part I wear that with pride; Thursday morning I placed my “Manager of the Quarter” award on the shelf in my living room before I left home and it sits next to the picture of my father holding my son.
This is one of only a handful of photos of the two of them that exists and I find it immeasurably comforting seeing them together there every day.
I took a photo of it before I walked to the train and forgot about it until I got to work; I sat at my desk, opened my phone and I realised I will never be able to share this moment with him.
I cried because all I wanted to do on Wednesday (when I was given my award) was call him and talk to him about all the things we had achieved at work. He would have loved it, especially having only been there for 4 months. He would have been incredibly proud, probably cried himself (especially when he read the words on the plaque) and annoyed his friends and colleagues about his son, the 'Manager of the Quarter'.
He would also not allow me to shrink away from it, down play it, be embarrassed by it or try to be insufferably British about it,
One of his favourite phrases was;
"If you don't blow your own trumpet son, no one else will"
But trumpets aside, grief is a little bit like a gremlin that turns up when you least need or want it and usually disappears with the rapid application of a friend to talk to or hug from a caring colleague.
I managed to summon the courage and energy to go for a quick swim. Trying to channel my energy into exercise which, seems to be helping over the past 4 years as a coping mechanism for a world that can seem all too powerful and intense at times.
I manage my emotions by being honest about them, my boss walked in on me crying at my desk. He was kind, considerate and offered great advice. He even recognised that things like this must not have happened often for me in independent business settings.
He of course was right, his words helped and then if by magic, I felt that bit better.
CRY No.1
I cried because I was touched and thankful that my energy had been recognised. I would have been happy not winning it; because work-life is a marathon not a sprint.
Unless you’re Usain Bolt...
But recognition is something I am relishing, it feels even more crucial in validating people in roles regardless of the level. Having seen the delight on team member’s faces when they win associate or supervisor of the month, when they are recognised for their initiative or a special moment is something I have embraced as one of the most valuable ways to manage people and teams.
Being happy to cry is a strength I embrace, so here are some examples that we all do as a family;
1. Whenever my brother and I are reunited with each other we hug, we cry and we laugh. In that order – it is wonderful! Every single time!
2. Dad (especially) would get “Wobbly Lip” at the first 5 bars of Coldplay’s “Fix You” on Sports Personality of the Year. Every Time!
3. When Hedwig dies in Book 7
4. Any time Maxine and I realise that Twiglet (the dog…) isn’t getting any younger (9 this year...)
5. Every time Mum sees her entire family (2 sons, 2 daughters, 2 granddaughter’s and 2 grandson’s) together!
6. When the Ewok’s die in Return of the Jedi
7. The Ending of Black Adder Goes Forth
Being an emotional person is not a weakness, from my perspective it usual comes from being empathetic and attuned to people’s needs. It is probably why Hospitality appeals as a career for me but for some it is not always as easy.
I try to offer advice if I can, listen where possible and support when necessary but I know I don’t have many, if any answers. However I always happy to talk and maybe that’s the best answer.
We feel constrained by values, believe we should act a certain way or feel bound to principles we do not agree with – for many men / blokes / dudes / chaps /fellas / caballeros / signores or whatever else springs to mind it is hard to feel like YOU is good or great or fabulous or sensational or spectacular or magical or brilliant.
I think all I want to say to anyone reading this is what my friend sent to me after reading the plaque;
“Those comments. Mate. I love them. We should always thank you for being “YOU”
If you get to the end of this story and take away anything, go text a friend or a colleague and tell them how much they mean to you and how much you value them; as it might just make their day, month or year like it did with me.
Not to mention make them feel, ever so slightly special.
Love
Goose